From the time they are children, men and women are exposed to
innumerable fairy tales where prince charming sweeps the princess off
her feet with his romantic tendencies – the last time I checked there
weren’t too many prince charming types out there. Okay so there are a
handful of ‘prince charmings’ that give all other men a bad reputation –
but the only difference between the romantic man and the unromantic man
is the amount of time devoted to something they deem to be important.
Romantic men have already figured out the 2nd secret (which we believe
in at Authentic Messages) – romance really is important.
Women aren’t left blameless in this quest for romance (even though they typically try to absolve themselves of responsibility) – how many women are willing to take responsibility for the lack of romance in their relationships? It’s the 21st century ladies - be accountable! We want to be equal but our ‘rants’ about equality haven’t yet crossed over into the romantic realm. You’ve heard it said time and time again: “Men just aren’t interested in being romanced”. The elusive “being romanced” is really about being appreciated and loved. Who doesn’t like to be appreciated…which leads me to secret number 3 (I like to call #3 the ‘no-brainer’): regardless of gender, people want to feel they are special to another person; they want to be valued for who they are.
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When we think about romance, we tend to have tunnel vision. We don’t
realize that romance isn’t definable – it can be anything to anyone.
What is romantic to Person A may not be the least bit romantic to Person
B – why can’t romance be defined? The answer to that is simple – romance
is, as secret 3 revealed, about making someone feel loved and
appreciated. Ultimately romance is incredible personal. Different things
are going to make different people feel loved, so don’t get caught up in
the idea that it’s a waste of time to be romantic because your partner
doesn’t like, and may even dislike, the mushy romance of movies. Of
course this brings us to secret 4 – you need to find the romance that is
right for your relationship. Having no definition is what makes romance
so accessible to everyone – it has a constantly changing nature that can
Let’s face it – men and women need a little help and not the kind of help that pop psychologist ‘gurus’ talk about in their infamous (and equally ineffective) relationship books. Men and women need practical help – real life solutions for a real life problem. Men and women need to be inspired. I count myself an unofficial expert in the field of romance because I see it everyday in my line of work at the romantically themed store Authentic Messages – people are coming to the website looking for ways to be more romantic. These people have learned secret #5 – being romantic doesn’t necessarily mean ‘going it alone’. You can acquire help from outside sources to add a little romance in your life.
Unexpectedly military personnel have learned this secret better than any other group of people.
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