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I met through Jewish Online dating Service in September 1999 in a country music chatroom on yahoo. Our first conversation was about music. Our second conversation was about religion. We became fast friends after that. He was a widower and I was a single mom, going to college and working full time. Neither one of us were seriously looking for romance. We chatted for a few months. Then in January, my brother died and "Check" asked if he could call me. I trusted him by now and gave him my number. We talked for a couple hours. He called again about a week later, then twice a week, then every night. We figured out our work schedules and spent 8 hours on the phone one Saturday. Our phone bills were outrageous!

In April he drove 2300 miles to meet me and my daughter. She fell in love with him from the start. We had an amazing visit, which ended too soon. He had brought an engagement ring with him, he was that sure. He hit both knees in front of me and I had to say yes. In July, I moved to Arkansas to make plans for our wedding. We, all three of us, were married in September-2000 and the following September-2002 we had another little girl. This September-2004, we are expecting our third child, and are still very much in love. We have yet to fight. We still have the same open communication that we did online when we first met, then later on the phone. True love can happen in strange ways, even online.


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The Online Jewish dating Experience.

Basically when I do the online dating thing, I have a sequence called "weed them out" I go through.

When I send out a reply to a personal ad, I stick to women who don't have pictures on their profiles because there's a better shot at her responding back to me because she'll get less responses. Then it's pretty much a crap shoot as to what she'll look like -- and I've hit beauty queens down to Soupy Sales in Drag. I'm not picky and as long as I can walk down the street with her, she looks OK to me.

First of all, I weed out the ones who never want to go out on In Real Life dates. All they want to do is email or talk on the phone, and that gets boring. I don't chat with a girl for more than two weeks without an actual face to face date planned. Plus, in personal ads, you get a lot of "out of state" women sending responses. These women do this because they don't want to meet face to face; they just want something to do while they sit at home alone on a friday/saturday night. Weed those out.

Then weed out the workaholics who go to school full time, work full time and then on top of it have part time jobs. Nobody needs a girl who has one night off every 2 or 3 weeks.

After that, weed out the ones who need a man to rescue them from financial or family obligations. "I have 20,000 is credit card debt" or "I have to take care of my disabled father" are sure-fire fatal flaws.

From there, see where the road takes you.
 

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Life and Online dating for Jewish singles?

Online dating is just another way to meet potential dates. As in real life, you have to separate the wheat from the chaff. There are so many pieces that need to fall into place to make that happen: chemistry, both being in "that place" at the same time, making a relationship one of your priorities, etc. My best friend and I figured it would take 50 or 100 dates before we found one guy we were interested in dating exclusively who was also interested in us. You can't meet two people, have it not work out, and think "online dating stinks."

As a single mom, I found online personal ads the easiest, quickest way to meet new people since I didn't have the luxury of many free weekend nights. Another bonus: my personal stated I had kids, so there was no need for me to "drop the bomb" on some guy I'd just met at a bar or out dancing. If a man wasn't interested in a woman with kids, he didn't email me. I never took that personally; everyone has preferences.

Did I have some heartbreak? Sure. Were people sometimes not what they advertised themselves to be? Definitely. However, I'd also had those same things happen with men I'd met the old fashioned way.

I met husband #2 almost five years ago. He answered my ad, but he was too young, recently separated from his wife, Canadian, and taking a sabbatical from life, in general. He was also smart, well read, funny, and we had instant chemistry on the phone. Did I go into meeting him thinking I'd fall in love? Heck no. We had a great first date and by the next week, we were inseparable. Now we're expecting yet another baby and very happily married.
 

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