Basically when I do the online dating thing, I have a sequence called
"weed them out" I go through.
When I send out a reply to a personal ad, I stick to women who don't have pictures on their profiles because there's a better shot at her responding back to me because she'll get less responses. Then it's pretty much a crap shoot as to what she'll look like -- and I've hit beauty queens down to Soupy Sales in Drag. I'm not picky and as long as I can walk down the street with her, she looks OK to me.
First of all, I weed out the ones who never want to go out on In Real Life dates. All they want to do is email or talk on the phone, and that gets boring. I don't chat with a girl for more than two weeks without an actual face to face date planned. Plus, in personal ads, you get a lot of "out of state" women sending responses. These women do this because they don't want to meet face to face; they just want something to do while they sit at home alone on a friday/saturday night. Weed those out.
Then weed out the workaholics who go to school full time, work full time and then on top of it have part time jobs. Nobody needs a girl who has one night off every 2 or 3 weeks.
After that, weed out the ones who need a man to rescue them from financial or family obligations. "I have 20,000 is credit card debt" or "I have to take care of my disabled father" are sure-fire fatal flaws.
From there, see where the road takes you.
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Online dating is just another way to meet potential dates. As in real
life, you have to separate the wheat from the chaff. There are so many
pieces that need to fall into place to make that happen: chemistry, both
being in "that place" at the same time, making a relationship one of
your priorities, etc. My best friend and I figured it would take 50 or
100 dates before we found one guy we were interested in dating
exclusively who was also interested in us. You can't meet two people,
have it not work out, and think "online dating stinks."
As a single mom, I found online personal ads the easiest, quickest way to meet new people since I didn't have the luxury of many free weekend nights. Another bonus: my personal stated I had kids, so there was no need for me to "drop the bomb" on some guy I'd just met at a bar or out dancing. If a man wasn't interested in a woman with kids, he didn't email me. I never took that personally; everyone has preferences.
Did I have some heartbreak? Sure. Were people sometimes not what they advertised themselves to be? Definitely. However, I'd also had those same things happen with men I'd met the old fashioned way.
I met husband #2 almost five years ago. He answered my ad, but he was too young, recently separated from his wife, Canadian, and taking a sabbatical from life, in general. He was also smart, well read, funny, and we had instant chemistry on the phone. Did I go into meeting him thinking I'd fall in love? Heck no. We had a great first date and by the next week, we were inseparable. Now we're expecting yet another baby and very happily married.
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